called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize