Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
