i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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