I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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