I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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