bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
