I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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