Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
True strength comes from lack of pants
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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