dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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