Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All the doctor said was why
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
