I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
