and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
