No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
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i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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