Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
