hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
im on a boat
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