Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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