Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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