That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
