If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
