so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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