No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
