i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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