woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
