I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
