I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we're so committed to being not committed
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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