Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
