I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
