Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
