Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
