So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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