So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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