I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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