are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have tasted many bathrooms
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