I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
