hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
