it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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