My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
