You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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