I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen