This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"