life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first