i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
