so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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