Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
