theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
