you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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