woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
