Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
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this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Im part way to drunk.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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