I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Help. Why am I so naked?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
