Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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