Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
