I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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