i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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