Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
