Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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