I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize