I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
