Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
