I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.