Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
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I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.