Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Randomize
