Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
