Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
