Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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